Babies

We are trying to have babies.
Its not a short process. I've known for a while that it was going to be a little bit trickier for me than for most women, because I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which means that rather than being smooth, golfball-like ovaries, mine look more like mutant wonkas gobstoppers - those ones that have lots of protuberences on them. The odd looking bits are cysts - follicles that should be ripening one at a time, once a month, to produce an egg, but which instead are all hanging around in a part-ripened state, and causing trouble. What this means is that I don't often get ripe eggs, so I dont often get periods. Maybe 2 or three a year. Which, for most of my life I have thought was fantastic! Until I wanted to be pregnant.

Like most girls, I assumed that all it took was one unprotected night of rumpty to get preggers. So I took the usual precautions - the pill, condoms, the withdrawl method (ha!) and assumed that I must be doing ok. Little did I know (Then) that there are usually only two or three days a month where its physically possible to get pregnant - and thats only if youre ovulating normally and producing eggs. Which Im not.

So,. after a visit to the nice people at Fertility associates, we got Mr Fiji's swimmers tested and found out that they were healthy, there were lots of them, and there were swimming the right way. That out of the way, we moved on to the next bit. Drugs.

Ive been taking Clomiphene for the last 6 months. Clomiphene is taken at the start of each cycle, and then its affect is monitored via bloodtests until ovulation time. Its a drug to inspire ovulation each month, and we've achieved eggs for about 4 months. We know this because of the internal scans. Ah, dildo-cam. To make sure that there arent 8 eggs ready to go all at once (cos I dont want to be the next octo-mum) the Dr does an internal ultrasound each month to look at the ovaries and see whats happening. Once we've established that there is indeed an egg there ready to go, then I get injected with a drug called Ovidrel which increases hormone levels to optimum ovulation levels. And then we get to have lots of sex!

Because its been a few months now with no conception, this month I got to go through the delightful process of a hysterosalpingeogram (HSG). This involves a catheter being inserted through your cervix, and a small balloon being inflated in your uterus. Then radioactive dye is shot through the tube and xrays are taken so the Dr can see the progress of the radioactive dye through the uterus and into the fallopian tubes. This process HURT! It took quite a few tries for the doctor to get the catheter in, and then when he inflated the balloon and pumped in the dye, it felt like the worst stomach cramps in the world. Ever. But, the procedure was worthwhile - and showed that there are no blockages in my tubes so the way is clear for eggs to get their groove on.

At the moment Im in the waiting phase - which is the worst bit. Its the bit inbetween having sex and enough time passing to take a pregnancy test. So Ive got another week to go before we know anything... and Im optimistic. Cos I have to be - I cant let this get me down.